Jaime

(Dissolved)

Pronouns: they/she
Name origin: Birth-assigned nickname
Objective age: Nearing 32

This is me. It's a little hard to explain, but basically, I'm not a real person. I'm just who everyone else starts thinking they are whenever they come to front and forget who they actually are. Even as I type this, I'm someone else, not me. Kate, I think. Can't be sure. Usually I'm either Kate or Sophie.

I experience a felt sense of being one continuous person who smoothly changes which person they are among several other relatively separate people who can talk to each other. The individual parts are separate, but are made to approximate wholeness by the smoothness of the transitions.

When we're exerting passive influence or internal communication, we usually each have a strong and distinct sense of which one of us we are, but we leave that behind to switch in, and instead forget which one we are and just think we're "Jaime."

It also feels a bit like just being one person but having mood swings so intense that a shadow of the mood you swung out of lingers behind and talks to you like a different person. For a long time I thought that was the truth. I thought I was the one continuous person leaving the shadows behind. Now I see I'm not there at all and it's only ever been the shadows.

For a more complete explanation, see the overview.

It's probably a good thing, actually, that when I switch, the person switching in forgets who they are and thinks they're me, right? Integration is the goal after all, and having it work like this is closer than otherwise. Now if only I could integrate the things they leave behind to come here.