Singer
- Pronouns
- she/they
- Name origin
- Self-chosen last name shared with our mother to distance both of us from our respective abusers. The name didn't stick, but we have repurposed it as Singer's codename.
- Subjective age
- 12
- Favorite color
- Lavender
- Favorite animal
The stuffed rabbit we project our mother into. Deer isn't really her favorite animal per se, it's just what she would choose if she had to be an animal. It's the one she feels most like. Truth be told, she's not sure she even has a favorite animal. One that's actually a real animal, she means.
- Strengths
Still around. That counts for something.
- Weaknesses
After Singer-α's break, there's barely a person left. Barely. Like I said, there is one, and that's impressive all on its own. But she is just barely there.
- Holds traumatic memories
- Not anymore
- Holds stress response
- Freeze
- Holds shameful behaviors
- No
- Holds learned skills
- Creative writing, music composition
- Copes with shame
- Doesn't register
- Copes with fear
- Doesn't register
- Copes with grief
Trying her best.
- Darkest thought
That it might not be possible.
- Formative belief
- That someone else had endured it all, not her.
Singer used to be part of Singer-α. (Despite this, she actually predates Singer-α. For more information, see that page, as well as the abyss.)
Now, without the help of everyone else that was in there with her, there's so little left of Singer herself that she's a little bit delirious. She doesn't really have feelings anymore, but for what it's worth, she does still contain some thoughts...:
She likes fruit gummies. That stupid "i want fuit gummy" meme turned her on to them. She's always saying that shit.
i wan fuit gumy.
It's like her default response when we try to ask how she's doing. I cannot possibly imagine what could have caused us to dissociate that of all things into her of all people, but there it is. In any case we have done our best to indulge her bizarre craving.She presents herself as like... this ethereal presence who's always watching and wants us to know she loves us... or something. We love you too, Singer.
She has the strongest attachment to our stuffed rabbit.
Relations
- Lucy-α
- Lucy
- Lucy, as she is now, seems to think she is Singer. We discovered this while writing Lucy's page.
- Penelope
- Anabelle
- Daisy
- May
- Oliver
- We think Singer is specifically the part of Singer-α who took over after what was done to Oliver and then failed to report it coherently to our mother and CPS because she couldn't access Oliver's memory of the incident.
- Oliver*
- Alice
- Of the parts that broke out of Singer-α, Alice was the only one still loosely tethered to Singer (I think). Maybe that's why Alice is the only one who's managed to truly heal so far.
- Alice-II
- Alice-III
- Singer-α
- Singer-α was Singer's prior self (though the part of Singer-α we knew as her "self" was actually Lucy-α because that was Singer-α's primary internal communicator).
- Kate
- I'm the one who did this to Singer. It wasn't on purpose. See Singer-α's page.
- Sophie
- Mom
- This is who inhabits the stuffed bunny that Singer always carries around. That's why she needs to keep it with her all the time.
- Dad
- Mom*
- Dad*