Alice
- Name origin
- Alice in Wonderland
- Aliases
- None
- Pronouns
- she/her
- Type
- EP
- Role
- Major trauma holder (trafficking, verbal abuse, school bullying)
- Response type
- Sympathetic-nervous-system aspect of fawn response
- Reexperiencing types
- Nightmares, emotional flashbacks, age regression
- Communication style
- Seizing front
- Coping mechanisms
- Avoidance, self-harm, suicidal ideation
- Traits presented when cofronting
- Self-hatred, hopeless despair, avolition
- When happy
- Switches to Daisy
- When sad
- Becomes inconsolable, says "I'm sorry" over and over again
Alice is the one who remembers what it was like when our abuser hit us so he could convince us to take medicine to ease the pain, and then overdosed us into a catatonic stupor so he could get us into a suitcase and smuggle us out of the house to share us with his friends.
She's also the one who remembers how it felt when our mother, despite being a very good person, was often driven by stress to verbally abuse us in the car, to the point that we wanted to run away, but had nowhere to run to, and thus no recourse but to cover our ears and curl up into a ball.
Alice is convinced everyone hates her, and she hates herself, too, because of that. She thinks she should die but is too scared to kill herself. She knows she must have done something very wrong but doesn't understand what.
Like Lucy and Daisy, Alice was born when Singer could no longer carry everything alone. Until then, she was a part of Singer.
Alice suffers from fear and shame, like the other two EPs, but does not cope with them. She simply lets them consume her.
Relations
Alice will not listen to Jaime. In our deepest moments of despair, she takes control. I am still present, but my influence is diminished. I try to calm her down, but she is inconsolable.
I don't know how Alice feels about Lucy or if she's even aware of her.
I also don't know whether Alice is aware of Daisy, but I do know they are closely related. They were likely a binary subsystem within Singer. Where the rabbit goes, Alice follows.
I think Alice still thinks she is Singer. She prefers the name Alice, but in spite of going by a different name, I'm not sure she actually realizes that she has been split off from Singer, nor that others exist who have as well.
I don't think Alice is aware of Sophie as a headmate, but as a body, Alice hates it. She wants to be smaller. She wants to take up less space. She wants to shrink and eventually vanish.
Alice could not live without Lorna Without her, Alice would have killed herself by now.
Bernard is the reason Alice doesn't want to live.
Fronting triggers
Alice dislikes when we try to drive, go outside, look for work, make phone calls, talk to people one-on-one, think about what happened to us or anything even tangentially related, or do vent art, especially of an erotic nature. She can be brought quickly to full awareness by crying.